MY DEFINING MOMENT IN BMT

If you were to ask me for my defining moment in BMT right now, I would probably have difficulty in replying. However much I reflect on my month’s worth of experience in Ladang, I cannot find a single moment that cannot define who I am today, or the moment that has defined my BMT life so far. Could it be the 5 days of gruelling torment in field camp? The day I was entrusted with my rifle? Or even the moment I handed two dollars over to the man who would give me Nike h-Air? A virgin to all these high key events, I personally feel that my most defining moment in BMT would have to be these entire 4 weeks.

For me, the 4 weeks of BMT have been a turmoil of emotions for me as I experienced many highs and lows and discovered myself more, both the good side and Ugly side. I learnt to trust my body’s mental and physical capabilities as the days went by where physical activities progressively increased, making me faster, stronger and better. Coming from a more athletic background then most of my fellow comrades, I knew I had no choice but to display a stronger front especially when they were at their limits. I found words to be of less meaning, but actions that were the driving force in motivating one another. During field camp, when I completed tiring tasks such as shellscrape digging, the temptation to rest would be there, but army has instilled in me the one for all and all for mentality such that when you are done with individual work, you have no choice but to help your buddies finish digging as well, because if someone in your section or platoon fails so, the commanders will give you the “if you play with me I will play with you. I will make you cry” speech and everyone would have to re-do the activity. That was a joke. What I’ve really learnt is that in winning a battle, no Rambo or any special individual is required, but teamwork.

By now most men would say their field camp defined who they are at this point of time, but I realise that it isn’t the same for me. Embarrassingly to say, for me it was about achieving marksmanship for live range shooting. Not only does the SAR-21 has a scope, it has an in built laser target pointer. Personally I felt it would be pretty degrading if one did not bring down the target 26 times for BTP with the help of cutting-edge technology. I told myself that as a soldier, there would be no point in conquering IPPT easily if I couldn’t effectively handle and take aim with a rifle. Failing to make the mark by 1 shot on the day of the test was a blow to my confidence. There was only one thing left to bank on, which was the reshooting.

On the day of the reshoot, I thought quietly, “no pressure, this was going to be easy the second time” But that cocksureness was my downfall. I missed 4 out of the first eight rounds for the first re-test. Disappointed in myself and adding to my depression, I watched as some of my friends successfully achieved their score of 26. Lucky for the first round failures there was a second re-test. This time the stress mounted as I missed 3 of the first 8 rounds which meant I had no more chances to miss. In my mind I felt no one could help me now except myself. However, I was to be corrected quickly. Without the ever-understanding safety officer 2LT Anandraj beside me encouraging me with standard-SAF phrases like “it can be done” and “make your last shot count” I am quite certain I would have failed to perfectly nail the next 8 targets in a row and the second re-test would be disastrous, for there would be no third re-test. Other than extreme satisfaction, there are few words to express the gratefulness and elation I felt after the last target went down. To fall and get up on my feet again, I believe this was one of the moments that truly defined me.

Though it may seem that BTP earned the title of this essay, in conclusion I would like to suggest that my defining moment in BMT starts and ends at the ferry terminal every book in and book out, for it's really not what you leave behind, but what you bring back. I Entered Army with uncertainty and fear but in a short span of time have graduated with a certain degree of confidence and conviction. As my Journey in Tekong and the war against myself to keep pushing beyond my limit continues, I will carry the Motto of Falcon with me, “discipline above everything, death before dishonour”. In that I pride myself, and hope to make every day the best day of my life.

REC BRIAN LEE ZHAN RUI
F4415
7TH MARCH 2010